wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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