Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
