What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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