i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize