you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
