if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
