i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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