all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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