What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I know her cup size but not her name....
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