He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
