i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
