Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
