I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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