You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
operation have a gay friend backfired
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
