Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
