i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Too much gin, very little bucket
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
