Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
