Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
