nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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