He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
