why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
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