Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize