I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
