i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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