you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize