why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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