Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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