things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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