Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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