Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
