it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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