Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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