Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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