capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
