Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
