he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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