He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
