Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
