Having a random hookup so left but love u
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
We have started to decorate penises.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
