Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
