so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
