i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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