You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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