So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
