Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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