Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
