pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
