Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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