I wanna passion pit in your ass
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize