is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
