Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
