also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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