at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
