biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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