But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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