I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize