he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Randomize
